The big E.

Today was the long anticipated/dreaded upper GI endoscopy. After 13 hours of nil by mouth I would, in fairness, have allowed anything to be done to me just to be given food lol! Having taken the decision to go sedation free but with a trail of horror stories behind me I went in there prepared for anything but also with the knowledge that the gastro guy is one of those funny, geeky guys who can be intimidated just with a bit if eye to eye contact so I was confident that should he hurt me I could have him squirming in seconds. Just on this note he is a funny fella, big and round and Indian with a very nervous disposition, the more intently you look at him the more he stutters, hours of fun to be had :)

Anyway, I was led away with the nurse and various forms were completed and the same info repeated as I already knew. I then changed into a gown and took up position on the trolly. Surrounded by equipment and screens and gowned people the nerves started to kick in but a few deep breaths and a bit of a stern word with my self and I was all good again. The lovely mother figure nurse (there is always one for these types of occassions) said soothing things and offered to hold my had. Sweet offer but I was not quite at the hand holding stage of distressed so graciously declined! Then it was all systems go, the spray was applied which made me feel like I couldn't breath but once I realised this was not a real feeling and more of an illusion created by the numbing sensation (a lot like taking poor quality cocaine but thats another story!) I was OK. Once satisfied I was numb they brought out the big toys and my mouth was kept open by a clunky plastic thing with a whole in it. Once the camera started to go down my throat I did not like the sensation and it was time to go to that special place where nothing can get to me, a skill I have developed over the years and is very useful in these situations! The whole thing was uncomfortable and unpleasant but not really painful. I wouldn't choose it as a hobby but it was fine. The good bit was I got to see my insides on the big screen, how many people get to do that?!!!

The whole thing was done and dusted in about 40mins, biopsies were take, I had left my special place and I was released back into the community like nothing ever happened. Two of my lovely friends came and met me for lunch with the 2 little ones so a few cuddles, some laughs and a banana milkshake to sooth my throat and the world was fine! My throat feels sore now but not too bad, think it may be worse tomorrow as it feels like bruising that will potentially come out some more but as I seem to have got off quite lightly with the trauma side of things I'm OK with that!

So, after a luch and a lovely catch up, I made the journey home which was the only clue the proceedure may have affected my brain as I ended up lost, twice. Goodness knows how when its a straight road and I have done it a million times but anyway. Its a good job I'm getting highlights, I definitely need to be blonde!!!

So, that was my day... All that worry for something that really was completely surmountable, this is the lesson in life I am learning time and time again. Nothing is ever as bad as your mind builds it up to be and and if you are going to have to face something then face it full on, guns blazing.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEZDP_NVklc&noredirect=1

This is my kind of life anthem at the moment and I think it says it all :)